Tuesday, November 8, 2011

there's always more

i'm so careful when i write
that i shouldn't be surprised
when i hear
the remonstrations
with my own voice

the quiet indignation

that once again
i left so much

as a courtesy
to the image
i project
of myself

pressed against the glass
looking in


aguja said...

Oh, these can only be the musings of a writer! I love the last part - 'as a courtesy .... looking in'. It encapsulates it all.

Linda Sue said...


HAHA my word verification is "URBIG"...

Valerianna said...

Oh, this one is great, too... I'm sliding back in time to earlier posts that I;ve missed in the midst of construction and wood stacking!

HA! and MY word verification word is
"calmistr"... which I think is calm mr.
you, a calm mr.

Bee said...

Dear Steven,

I hope that I am not "projecting," (and I fear that I am), but I feel like this post re-words something of what I wanted to convey in my post yesterday. I would almost think this is your response, or riposte, but I believe that you wrote this before I wrote mine. What, I wonder, do you so carefully censor?

For several months I couldn't seem to write anything at all because I felt that I had to censor the circumstances in my life which were making me feel rather miserable.

I do want to respond to your comment on my post. Steven, the inspiration/message of your blog is absolutely crystalline. It is obvious that you do not present an autobiography, or even personal ruminations, here. Yours is a realm of higher thought . . . and a tribute to the world of beauty/wonder around us. What I was trying to express was a frustration with the idealized domestic lives; you probably don't even read any of those blogs! Anyway, I'm afraid this is a bit of a jumble. I hope that you make some sense of it. Thanks, as always, for being a sensitive writer (and reader).

steven said...

bee - your post was a brave post. there are so few. which is not to be critical of my fellow bloggers as much as it's an acknowledgment that so much goes unsaid. perhaps necessarily. sharing pain, sharing difficulties, can be cathartic, but it provides the possibility that it will function as mere titillation and draw little more than the pithy empathetic comments that leave a greater emptiness than was already there. i have to work to make my marriage work, i have to work to make my relationships with my children work, my daily work is fraught with difficulties and consequences that i mostly manage in a healthy way but sometimes i don't. sharing the details of those processes wouldn't help people other than as i suggested - to underscore their own experience and that doesn't aford them the opportunity to move on. to break out and be honest and more present. so i offer a place of possibilities that exist in a realm that is entirely connected to my daily experiencing but which is not of them. i admire you for honouring the memory of your friend who needed to fly away before people were prepared to let him/her go. it kicks the blogosphere into a place it doesn't often go which is to move beyond tagging husbands as "beloved" when everyone knows that there's much more to it than simply that!!!! steven

Bee said...

Steven -- thank you.