Wednesday, March 23, 2011

from where i began


when i saw her
she was

she was
so like
so like a flower

and then
so
entirely

so entirely
herself

and i
so like
the small green
moth-like form
of her perfect imagining
i saw myself
fluttering in her eyes
and i liked seeing the me of me
so much
that i became
perfect in my own estimation
so subtle
and refined
in my becoming

and in time
i became
so much less grateful for the gaudy syntax
of her velvet lips and her golden heart

so filled with greed
and i became so set
and then so set back
so formed in my place

until one morning
waking alone
in the sky
a sky of my own imagining

and remembering
each detail
of my unlived life
so filled with hollowness and great spaces
that (unlike a wish)
were already filled with the memories of dreams that would follow
moments that would never happen

so, filled with memories and dreams that had no home
i built my own sacred space
a sanctuary
a place of solace
a hermit's retreat
framed and clothed
in the architecture of regret

fantasy became both my scapegoat
and my friend

under the sun's soft breath
the dead leaves of me
fluttered
to the ground

no matter that time
which had somehow ceased to exist

passed and returned

bringing me to begin
from where i began
wholly and entirely

to be here
again

visual prompt provided by tess kincaid

14 comments:

C Hummel Kornell a/k/a C Hummel Wilson said...

Steven, This is lovely. I notice you write late at night which is also the most creative time for me. Truly enjoyed your efforts.

ellen abbott said...

every time I come here and see that sweet little pea flower, it makes me smile.

Reya Mellicker said...

Frickin incredible, Steven, moving us backwards and forwards in time like that. Holy cow, how DO you do it??

Tess Kincaid said...

This is really beautiful, Steven. I'll think of you when I see the shamrock standing in the violets.

Pauline said...

To see yourself through someone else's eyes is not always to see the true self... this is so artfully worded. Love the new heading too!

hope said...

You had my attention at the sight of a violet...your words were icing on the cake. :)

steven said...

hello c hummel kornell a/k/a c hummel wilson! i write all the time - well not all the time but at al times depending on the availability of the time and the space. especially the space. i have to prepare the space, welcome it if it chooses to arrive, immerse myself in it, and then be sensitive to my the degree to which my own wishes have intruded on the space. steven

steven said...

ellen - i know. it's so unlikely and then also so sweet!! steven

steven said...

reya - this one unfolded the moment i saw tess's picture prompt. the words were there but they were moving around a lot so i let them dance their dance unti they settle into this form and then i let them free - again! steven

steven said...

tess - thankyou for the prompt. i found it on your site when i got back from my travels and realized i needed to write but it was too late to add to your list so here it is. steven

steven said...

pauline - i think that's a learning that's either there or not and i'm glad to have been offered it fairly early in life. steven

steven said...

hope thankyou so much! steven

J. Steven Baugh said...

I nearly got lost in your images. I was entranced by the way you weave and wrap words around themselves, mesmerized by the living and dying, rising and falling as you moved from moment to moment.

steven said...

hi j. steven baugh! i should leave breadcrumbs or little pieces of coloured thread on the ground when i share pieces like this so that no one gets lost!! thanks for following the path. steven