Saturday, June 5, 2010

my twenties

gustave caillebot a young man at his window

as a young man
i wished my way
into a sort of privilege
and then stood back
in shocked recognition
as i saw myself
in the ways of the world

one face of the world

everett shinn on the streets of new york

i learned about work
and patience
and remembered something
of what i had forgotten
but in a new context

and somehow
or grace
(i've found that they can be as close as sisters)
allowed me to forget
what i wished to forget

and without really noticing
my unfolding presence

i began
to become
who i was intended to be
to do what i was intended to do

and all the while
the real work
of my being
as it was nurtured
and brought gently forth
into a world
and understandably
of my presence


Noelle Clearwater said...

Hi Steven,
I have been reading your blog for just a short time and I have been sharing it with people on my google buzz site through google reader. I just wanted to say that my life has been enhanced and changed by reading what you write. I am a Jungian psychology student finishing my Masters thesis. Much of what you say resonates deeply with me. I am in my mid fifties and on a second career path. I just wanted to say thank you for your wisdom and heart-opening insight.

Elisabeth said...

Powerful sentimemts here, Steven, especially the notion that all this becoming - or at least most of it - was happening outside of your conscious awareness.

Reading your words here, I also thought of one of my favourite aphorisms: Fortune favours the prepared mind.

steven said...

hi noelle, thanks for leaving such a generous comment! i'm intrigued by the stories of the people who visit here and yours connects to me through the jungian work you are engaged in. writing this blog is a great pleasure and then also a form of work. part of the larger work i need to do. i'm really grateful to have the opportunity to share what passes through my experience. see you again. steven

steven said...

hello elisabeth - do you remember your twenties? they were giddy, heady, irresponsible, shocking, compressing, and then the foundation for work that came later that i couldn't have been prepared for hadn't i learned how to live in a useful way. i appreciate the aphorism you shared very much. steven

Linda Sue said...

SO wish I had hung out with you in your twenties! So good to hang out with you now! I have been thinking of how I remember my youth and the events that seemed to build me- I bought the book "The Invisible Gorilla" - The first few chapters are predictable but then it gets we remember, what we remember- what is our brain works- visuals and concentration- YOU as a teacher might find it an interesting read...LOVE this post, as always!

Meri said...

and somehow
or grace
(i've found that they can be as close as sisters)
allowed me to forget
what i wished to forget

Sometimes forgetting is a blessing. Sometimes we think we forgot and then find a splinter festering in our hearts.

steven said...

linda sue i was a mixed bag in my twenties; finishing university with a strong sense of direction and hugely creative. painting, playing bass, performance art and then . . . working in my dad's factory where i learned about work and patience and especially about what i valued. reading like mad. reading all the time to escape and then also to inform my interior. then through to my thirties but that's another post. thanks for the link to the invisible gorilla. i'm going for a look now. steven

Suz said...

like those paintings
your writing is filled with
light and shadow..
privilege and labor
rubbing to make a man

Jenny Stevning said...

All so good, but this especially:
i began
to become
who i was intended to be
to do what i was intended to do