Wednesday, June 23, 2010

at the window

i came across these words of paul eluard and was captivated, as if walking by a mirror i saw myself and was caught for a moment in that lovely indecision over whether to stop and stare at my own reflection or to hurriedly move on, embarassed by the possibility of being seen admiring my appearance.

paul's insight is so gently and yet precisely expressed here that the effect is more that of walking through a door, or having a long stretch of dark weather suddenly move on allowing the light
to come streaming in through the windows.

white doors vilhelm hammershoi

i have not always had this certainty, this pessimism which reassures the best among us.
there was a time when my friends laughed at me.
i was not the master of my words.
a certain indifference, i have not always known well what I wanted to say,
but most often it was because i had nothing to say.
the necessity of speaking and the desire not to be heard.
my life hanging only by a thread.

there was a time when i seemed to understand nothing.
my chains floated on the water.

all my desires are born of my dreams. and i have proven my love with words.
to what fantastic creatures have i entrusted myself,
in what dolorous and ravishing world has my imagination enclosed me?

i am sure of having been loved in the most mysterious of domains, my own.
the language of my love does not belong to human language,
my human body does not touch the flesh of my love.
my amorous imagination has always been constant and high enough so that nothing
could attempt to convince me of error.

words from "at the window" paul eluard

sunbeams or sunshine. dust motes dancing in the sunbeams vilhelm hammershoi


Meri said...

Beautiful words and images. Melancholy.

Elisabeth said...

Doors and windows are always entrancing. They hold so much promise. These are superb along with Elouard's words. Thanks, Steven.

Eryl Shields said...

This is a 'take it one sentence at a time' quotation. The best sort.

Do you often admire yourself in mirrors?

TechnoBabe said...

The way you describe the long stretch of dark weather moving to allow light is exactly the weather here this past week. Even right now, dark outside when it normally would be light, and heavy rain and thunder and lightening that is even more visible because of the dark. I like the painting "White Doors" but I am so taken with the sunbeams picture. Just lovely.

ALeks said...

Sometimes it scares me a bit,that constant invisible connecting line between the 2 worlds of ours,often I think on something and than it appears on your blog,in one or the other way,as yesterday I was looking for Hammershoi post on one of my blogs and could not find it,already becoming sad cause I thought I ve lost it and than just looking up at the screen of my computer, there it was!! You posted it! :)
His work have a remarkable influence on my brainwaves,there is magic in his work.And than to accompany it with those words from Paul Eluard,only a skillful artist
can do that! And a poet!
"..a certain indifference,I have not always known well what I wanted to say,but most often it was because I had nothing to say,
necessity of speaking and the desire not to be heard.
my life hanging only by a thread."
Simply beautiful!
Hvala !

Reya Mellicker said...



Did you post this specifically for me, Steven? Probably not. But it is so apt. Wow.

The Weaver of Grass said...

As usual Steven, you have matched the words beautifully with the chosen pictures.

steven said...

weaver thankyou very much. i enjoy entering the little space of this blog and seeing what there is to see each day. i'm glad that you like what appears! steven

steven said...

meri when i read the words and i remembered the paintings, well for me they spoke as much about each other as to each other. so bringing them together was done outside of me in some ways. melancholy. my own sense as i prepared this was of acceptance. there's melancholy in letting go of almost anything. perhaps that's where you sense it. the words are very much about letting go, accepting, and then even celebrating something very beautiful and essential. steven

steven said...

elisabeth i've been in homes with these windows, these doors, this vibe. they feel very much like living things to me. they have lives of their own. pass through a doorway, look through a window and let the worlds they contain or frame pass through you! steven

steven said...

hi eryl, i truly don't spend much time in front of physical mirrors. all sorts of other mirrors though and not so much to admire as to lay bare the form of my presence on whatever level or in whatever form i appear. as i get older i seem to have access to more and more of who and what i am. strange words perhaps but true to me. steven

steven said...

hey technobabe, i love shadows as much as light, rain as much as sun. i simply don't favour one over the other. there are qualities to each that allow for a different response, a better presence, joy and melancholy in equal quantities. steven

steven said...

you sign off in croatian. the connections are as real as the wood in the table. just as present. just as essential. people assume distance, technology, format, are barriers or spaces. my sense is that alignments, resonance and dissonance all describe a recognition of place in relation that exists beyond the medium of connection, the vagaries of geographical place, and especially outside the strange matrix maps of steven, or aleks, or willow, or reya and all the other extraordinary people hovering in projected form. steven

steven said...

reya, this one and the one before were posted specifically for you. good call!! this one was also an opportunity for me to express a knowing that took place over the course of this year for myself. my year ends when summer begins or maybe i should say, my year begins when summer begins! peace! steven

ALeks said...

Steven,I am not a Croat,I am born as Yugoslavian,language we spoke back then,before the bloody war was Serbo-Croat! If you wish to give a name to the language I speak today call it Serbian than,please! Google does not recognize it but we can!
Hvala means thank you!

steven said...

aleks- no harm or insult intended. the google translator identified the word as croation. i only speak english so i'm dependant on technology to help me understand the words of other languages. peaceful evening. steven

Golden West said...

I just read that your region experienced an earthquake today - that must have been startling for you all. We have them frequently enough, but it is not something one gets used to.

Love those pictures - so much like photographs... That light!

Kay said...

beautiful as ever...i adore Hammershoi's work and you put the words and art together skillfully..xx