Tuesday, December 9, 2008

a rainy tuesday

i've been staying with my mum since the weekend, helping prepare the details of the earthly features of my dad's flying away. it's been a time of deep and rich unpacking. alternately, joyous and sad, filled with likely and unlikely stories and memories that have only enriched my already rich experiencing of this man. a man whose inner and outer lives marked an extraordinary arc from the barest of existences to a form of spiritual wealth that left him fulfilled in his journey along his chosen path of a buddhist.

i just walked beside a portion of lake ontario that he photographed incessantly. i took a lot of photographs as i walked. if any work out then i'll post them here.

the photography was a tremendous place of connection for my dad and i. it was an earthly and rewarding way in which to try to see beyond the surface of this very rich world. to see what, i don't think either of us knew or planned for! as photographers know, sometimes it happens - often not! but we delighted in sharing those moments that took us beyond the immediate and into that lovely otherness that characterizes the seeker, the pilgrim, the person hungry for that elusive parting of the screens beyond which is available truth and wholeness captured in a small space in a fragment of time.

my sadness is braided with joy for my dad and all who knew him.

tomorrow the celebration of my father's life as known by his family will take place.

7 comments:

Goldenrod said...

And your dad took that walk with you, Steven. I firmly believe that.

I am pleased that you are able to take a little time to be solitary and let all of those powerful emotions, feelings, and memories swirl around and within you.

"Sadness braided with joy" ... a beautiful and most descriptive phrase! I will be thinking of you and your family tomorrow.

Goldenrod said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
steven said...

hi goldenrod. thanks for all your kind and supportive thoughts! i wrote to a colleague and said "it has been difficult in ways i wouldn't have expected, and easy in ways i wouldn't have expected. no surprises there!"

i bet you know what all that means!!

steven

Aleks said...

Dear Steven,I just came here again.I was walking by the other day but than I felt as I feel on special places,not so talkative.I hope you do not mind me walking around.I stayed for a while,payed my respect to your dada,to your father,felt you as if I was there,flying over Ontario lake.I hope you have found a way to cope with a fact that he is not there to share your favourite pictures and beer.In these moments I here my poor language very hard,but you will understand and feel what I mean,will you?A big,warm hug from me and take care of your self and your love ones,see you! San

steven said...

hi san, it's alright to wander, drift, fly over any part of this blog. the writing and pictures are there for all to see and enjoy and take and copy and whatever they wish!!!
i miss my dad mostly because he was always learning and growing. he would always tell me about what he knew and what he wished he knew. he was a devoted buddhist. but he needed to end his time here as my father and so he came back as something else! have a peaceful day. steven

Aleks said...

I am sory that you have to miss him,may be you as father to your children will go together with the memory of your father,I only can imagine what and how does it feel to be a parent.Peaceful evening Steven.
San :O)

steven said...

hi san, thanks for dropping by again. i miss many people in my life but they are gone and have returned as something else now and so i am happy about that.
steven