Wednesday, August 19, 2009

a transformative moment: inside jerusalem

when the thought first crossed my mind that it might be interesting
to ask around and see if my bloggy peeps would like to share their
experiencing of a transformative moment,
i wasn't entirely clear what i was going to share myself.

my own experience of transformative moments is usually something that isn't in the realm of, "man this is a wickedgood meal".
it could be,
but i think it's closer to something that frames the picture of your existence.
it's always there in some way shape or form.
so it's intimate.
the idea that i had in mind when i popped the idea of the meme proposal was to talk about how reading "siddhartha" by hermann hesse when i was in my late teens, really brought me round and past so much of what i had known or taken for granted to that point. how i discovered through that book that the buddha was once a real person.

no way!!! way!!
i learned how it was alright to know that there are so many other worlds
layered inside and around this one that we see and deal with all the time.

the changes that came out of that book . . . . .

so i figured, really all i needed to do was to refer to it, drop in a tasty quote or two,
throw a wiki citation to siddhartha and hermann and bammmm!!!!
i'm outta there!

but that didn't feel right. 'cause that's not what the golden fish has been about, nor will it be like that.


i'm going to tell you that i lay awake last night,


i was lying there.
it was a hot hot night.
flipping my body,
flipping my pillows,
flipping my mind.

waiting for that fiery gotta get this outta my gut, heart, soul
wherever it comes from
feeling, intuition, insight, beauteous fractal,
or moment of pure fortune
when i remembered something
from the very same springtime
in which i read siddhartha.

in that very same springtime,
my brother and i went on a kayaking trip with some guys just out of university.
these were smart wild boys
a systems analyst and a couple of engineers.

they lived for the weekend.

load a couple of 'yaks on the roof of a rusty ford econoline
and boogie up to the madawaska river for a weekend of
whatever came their way.

my brother david and i sometimes went along with them.
into the wilderness.
you see, back then the madawaska was just a river.
a beautiful fairly wild river.
now it's a wild water reserve.
back then you pulled out where you pulled out,
you camped where you camped.
the river rose, the river fell.
you went with your gut.

you learned as you went.

dinners came in foil packages and needed water
and were usually washed down with cheap fizzy pink wine
and then sake or straight from the bottle rum.
evenings were spent playing on curlers in the river
until it got too dark or too cold and then back into the tent,
flick on the flashlights and read until sleep closed the curtains.

on this particular journey it was mid-spring,
the river was clear of ice - but just.
the water was absolutely frigid and we didn't wear wet suits like they do now.
we got in up at the top of the route and worked our way through
a couple of drop-and-pool rapids
until we came up on one that is manageable in the summer
because the water levels are lower.
the route is not only simple
but it's easy to see.

in full spring run-off,
there are choices.
out of respect
we got out of our kayaks and scouted the rapid.
it was big and full.
basically one big drop off to start
straight over a ledge into an area about twenty metres wide
comprised entirely of frothing churning water.
(you can see these at the bottom of waterfalls and dams.)

the water dives to the bottom
and flows along the river bed
coming up anywhere from a few metres to tens of metres down stream.

between the point where the water drops over the ledge
to where it re-emerges as a consistent and observable flow
is roiling boiling foamy water.
it holds you or whatever gets into it.

it's called "a keeper hole".

we scouted this all out
and made a decision to take a channel off to the right of a huge rock
that was barely visible under the volume of water.
it had a nice solid coloured tongue of water
that led 'round the outside edge of the hole
and carried you straight through to the next drop and pool.
i forget what we agreed to do after that.

as it turned out it didn't matter anyway.

we walked back up the river to the put-in for the kayaks,
climbed in, stretched out our legs
until they touched the braces,
slipped the skirt edges over the coaming of the kayak
and pushed out into the current.
we quickly found the main "tongue" of water
where the current was thick and strong,
did a few correcting strokes to set us up
and then paddled hard towards the edge of "jerusalem".
yeah "jerusalem" is what we knew it as.

as we got close enough to hear the rapid's roar
we passed some local teens who decided to chuck rocks at us as we flew past.
i remember thinking about the film "deliverance".
and then shot over the edge of the drop -

on the wrong side of the rock!

my "skirt" popped free
of the coaming
and i was thrown
into the churning maelstrom of icy frigid water
before i could take a breath.

my eyes were open
so i could see threads of water,
threads of all sizes
twisted into vortices
in all the shades of green and white,
millions of linked bubbles
swirled like blown glass, like frogs eggs,
nothing to hold onto.

every so often my head would pop above the water
and i would suck a mouthful of air
and water
and back under i'd go.
i didn't know what to do.

i read afterwards
you're supposed to try and dive for the bottom
and catch the current there.
that works -
if there are no forces at play in-between the surface and the river bottom .

in the time i was in the hole
i lost my shirt,
my shoes,
my socks,
got bruises up and down my arms
that we figure were from my body being banged around on the bottom,
whenever i was there.

i had no sense of what was up
or down.

by this time,
the other guys had made it to shore
and were watching helplessly as i was thrashed around inside this giant keeper.

well not helplessly.

i heard later that one of the guys
was taking photographs
and that somewhere out there are pictures
of my legs coming up,
my head and arms,
just an arm,
bits of my body
rising and falling inside jerusalem.

but something else happened while i was in there.
i've told a couple of people this particular part
because it's really mine
and because of what it is
it demands some sort of rationalization for some people,
which i don't want to give.

so you have to make your own.
if you need to.

i was inside jerusalem for what semed an eternity,
and there was a point at which i realized i was going to drown.
i wasn't getting air,
i couldn't see my way out and so i gave up.
and "gave up" sounds like quitting
but that isn't what it was.

it was a relaxing.
a letting go.
i felt my body form into a fetal position
and the water started to go quiet
and i felt calm.

so calm.

you and i might have known a calm like that as very young children.

when i let everything go in that calmness
i was very suddenly a hundred feet or so in the air above the scene.

i could see the river,
the land to either side of it,
i could see the rapid,
i could see me in it.

in fact i could see and then suddenly feel
the hundreds of little wires that attached my floating self
to my body in the river.

there were so many long thin wires
but the ones i could feel the strongest
extended from the centre of the palms of my hands
to somewhere in the me that was curled in the fetal position in jerusalem.

i felt no sadness.
in fact i felt nothing emotional
just a wavering connection to the body beneath me.

deep calm.

then my head popped out of the water
and a man in a kayak
(ken from kingston i later found out)
was yelling at me
to grab the rope at the end of his kayak
and to let go if i felt myself being sucked back in.

i grabbed the rope
and watched as ken paddled furiously backwards back downstream
from where he had put in to rescue me
having paddled upstream against the force of the water
at his own risk
and all the time i knew i wasn't letting go of that rope
no matter what!!

they pulled me to shore
where i lay empty and drained.
bruised and with a headache that lasted the rest of the day.

but alive.

i knew then that i valued life.
i'd never really known
or needed to know how much.
i learned that death wasn't as horrible
as i had imagined.
that my knowing of otherness wasn't wrong
that there was more
much more to this world.
no more than i was aware of -
much more than i was being told.

i learned to value the moment.
the details.
to live as if each moment
was meant to be much more
than just another
easily ignored experience.

because each moment is "the big moment".

there you are!

thanks for sharing this with me.



Unknown said...

Blessings to Ken from Kingston! Did he know he was saving the life of a very creative and inspiring person? Have you been kayaking in the Madawaska since? It is amazing how much we value life when we are so short of breath. Each moment is "the big moment". This is my big moment to tell you thank you for thinking of this meme. It has been good for a variety of reasons including letting go of pain, healing, cleansing, caring, humour, many bloggers, many reasons. You can have a peaceful sleep now Steven. pleasant dreams. Tell your children not to hang around with university students until they are in university.

Delwyn said...

Wow Steven

There is something about the immediacy and pace of this writing that allows me to break through to you and feel closer to the real Steven...

I am glad you chose this experience rather than Siddhartha (I had that one too) because I feel that you have let your guard down a little, you have spoken clearly and directly from your heart, and I want to thank you for that...

I can see how such an experience can leave an indelible mark and a knowing that 'each moment
is the big moment...'

Thanks for sharing this transformative moment story Steven and don't you just love the way that the unconscious has a mind and a will of it's own in these matters of choosing the appropriate topic...

Happy days

Kay said...

Amazing story steven...totally painted it all in my mind..I could almost feel the water spray!!
So many great pieces of writing here..well done!!

The Weaver of Grass said...

Thanks for that steven - I could not remember who was hosting this meme and have put one on my blog this minute and said I can't remember who it was. Then I went to pics and poems and read his post and he reminded me that it was YOU! So thanks for stirring up a few memories and allowing me to take part and choose a pivotal moment of my own. I shall now go back to my blog and tell the world (well - my bloggy bit of it) to visit you. Have a nice day!

Caroline Gill said...

'the moment', 'the details' ...

these are the words that resonate most with me. And the water.

Thank you, Steven, for a multi-layered account, covering much of what it is to be human - the exhilaration, the fear, the peace, the buzz, the awareness of not only the little things but of greatness, majesty and power.

I live in Wales, as you know, where we are often reminded of the patron saint, David, who called folk to 'Do the little things' ('Gwnewch y pethau bychain'). However, it is not always the 'doing': sometimes it is the being or the looking.

I like Blake's lines, 'To see a World in a Grain of Sand and a Heaven in a Wild Flower'.

Enjoy this transformative day...

Totalfeckineejit said...

Wow! That's some experience Steven, quite incredible and really well written,I thought it was a poem at first.The image of these wires extending mainly from the palm of your hands to your stricken self below in the fetal position is a powerful one laden with symbolism.Quite extraordinary.
Thanks for sharing and glad you made it back ashore!

Elizabeth said...

A transformation indeed ad beautifully written about
terrifying and amazing
I liked the little thing about giving up and being peaceful......
I have heard that from others too
and it's kind of comforting.
I'm going to do this meme today -but a different moment than I mentioned before.

Pauline said...

"...that my knowing of otherness wasn't wrong
that there was more
much more to this world.
no more than i was aware of -
much more than i was being told"

if only each and everyone of us could experience this personally!

Emma said...

a gorgeous moment, scary but amazing to have such a wonderful insight. A lovely post.

ellen abbott said...

Wow. I was with you the whole time. I've never been caught in a hole but have skirted plenty of them. I've never had an nde but read enough of them to know there is no fear. Your experience is pretty typical to the ones I have read and it is always a very transformative experience. Obviously it wasn't your time yet. I'm glad.

Barry said...

I can see how that would be transformative Steven! Certainly memorable!

I can't tell you how glad I am that you survived!

Reya Mellicker said...

Wow wow wow ow wow wow wow wow wow!!!

What a story. Wow. I was there with you, Steven. I could feel the icy water and the churning even though it's a million degrees in DC. Wow.

This was a truly great meme. The posts I've read so far are just great - you made all of us think about, as Delwyn says, the trajectory of our lives and what it means to go through a big transformation.

Thank you for this! The story and the meme.

I'm so glad you held tight to that rope. Glad you're here, for the time being. xx & love.

Tess Kincaid said...

I'm fortunate to have you, "saved from Jerusalem" friend! You've shared this frightening transformitive moment in such a beautiful way, Steven.

It's hot down here, too. I always flip my pillow, searching for the cool spot.

NanU said...

I'm awestruck at your story and at your telling of it.
Drowning is my biggest fear. No worse way to die.
I'm very glad you survived.

Cheryl Cato said...

Ahhh Steven, what a powerful post. I was on the edge of my seat as I imagined your journey down the river. Thank you for sharing this very personal transformative moment with us.

Joanna said...

Steven, your telling of this event is so visceral and real. I have not had an "out-of-body" experience but I can almost feel those long thin wires connecting the you above the river to the you underneath it.

But most of all I liked your words about what you came away with--the sense of wonder in every day. It's my belief that this is the essence of all transformational moments.

Thank you for this opportunity.

Tessa said...

Oh. My. God. I am breathless now, gasping for air. The imagery you create with your words, Steven, is astounding. Truly, I was caught up from the first words....I felt the churning water and the sharp pain of rocks and debris. I felt the agony in my lungs, the helplessness, the overwhelming fear...and then peace. Perfect peace.

An exceptional piece of lyrical, eloquent and evocative writing. I'm stunned. (And pinkly embarrassed that my particular moment now seems so trite, so superficial in comparison.) A simply beautiful and entirely unforgettable post. Thank you for sharing this, Steven.

steven said...

hi linda, i've always been grateful to ken although i never saw him again after that!! actually, i stopped kayaking entirely. my brother continued and travelled through the states looking for bigger and better rapids.
i am absolutely stunned at the range and depth of responses this meme has generated. but then i am amazed at the people i get to associate with through this blog. the unpacking and unburdening is overwhelming in places.
thanks for the advice about my own kids. it's funny that isn't it. i notice how much time and energy i put into protecting my kids from the very things i did!!!!
thanks so much for your contribution to this day linda!!! have a peaceful day by the bluffs! steven

steven said...

hi delwyn, you noticed!! as i get more confident and comfortable being here in this (for me) fairly public place, i have noticed my blog becoming more capable of intimacy, truthfulness, and that more of my inner presence can begin to show.
i am a very quiet and private person unless i am teaching in which case i'm quite the opposite!!
thankyou for your generous and supportive comments here delwyn. they're a big part of my moving on with how much of me arrives in this place!!! thanks also for your stunning contribution to this day. later on i'm going to nip back over and read the comments that others have placed there. have a peaceful day. steven

steven said...

hi kay,
thankyou and thanks for your contribution to this day. it's an extraordinary collection of people and their writing. it'll take a while to read through it all but i know it will be mind-blowing wherever i go!!!

steven said...

hello caroline, thanks for visiting and thanks for your contribution to this day! your comment nails so many of the perspectives on this particular piece. thanks for the well-placed little tickle of blake. thanks also for mentioning david - my brother's namesake!!
have a peaceful day in wales. steven

steven said...

oh hello weaver!!! fancy forgetting something as important as that!!! i blame all that house repairwork that's going on!!! not to worry, i'm just really glad that you're here and that you were able to share your own piece of thinking with the world. have a lovely day in the dale. steven

steven said...

hey tfe, nice to see you out and about. did you shave your kisser yet?!!
the story i shared was an incredible experience. at the time i was utterly focussed on how close i'd come to handing in my dinner pail but later when i ran the whole thing through my head i was torn between how to manage what i now knew and who to tell (or not). thanks for visiting. i hope you're almost better from the swine flu. steven

steven said...

hi pauline, nice to meet you. thanks for your comment. i often wonder what this world would be like if it was commonplace that people knew clearly how everything is interconnected, how moments matter, how love connects everything, how so much is metaphor. what would it be like here?
by the way, you have a beautiful blog . . . truly beautiful! i'm looking forward to following it. have a peaceful day. steven

steven said...

hi elizabeth,
the peacefullness was complete and absolutely as i described it. i have read accounts of people in a range of situations since my own experience - mostly people in difficult situations like adventurers - and they say the same or very similar things. it's really comforting. have a lovely day elizabeth!!

steven said...

hi emma, you have a very cool blog! i love the way you write and the photographs of the bouquets are stunning! is that all you're own work then? wow!

i was grateful for the experience i described in my transformative moment but it took a long time for me to truly appreciate and understand it. it was important for me right at that point in my life though as i was on the cusp of some very big life changes and needed (i see in hindsight) to be reminded of the value of life and its fragility. have a lovely day emma. steven

steven said...

hi ellen, thanks for visiting today and for your contribution to this day!! when my dad flew away last december, this experience was helpful for me in knowing that there is a peaceful bridge between incarnations. so you used to kayak as well?!! you are having quite a life aren't you ellen!!! have a peaceful afternoon. hope it's cooling down a bit for you. steven

steven said...

hi barry - thankyou very much for that generous comment. i'm glad i survived if only so that i could continue to experience my life as it has clearly been meant to be and to share whatever goodness i can in whatever time i have. i've been very blessed throughout my life in one way or another. thanks for your own special contribution to this day barry!!! steven

steven said...

hi reya, there is an incredible outpouring of people's inner worlds through this meme. i had hoped for but didn't expect it to be quite as incredible as it is. but the people involved are exceptional in my own view and so . . . . . thanks for the love. it goes in and flows through everything. steven

steven said...

hi willow! thanks for your well-manicured contribution to this day and thanks for this lovely comment. i'm touched!!!! have a peaceful day. steven

steven said...

hi nanu, i'm glad you found this place!!! i was just wandering around your blogs - the pink rabbit is awesome, absolutely awesome!!! i'm really looking forward to following your writing and photographs. thanks for your very kind comments. see you again. steven

steven said...

hi lizzy, it's very fresh in my memory and i think that like the most powerful dreams, powerful experiences stay clear and accessible for a reason. i think that this experience has stayed with me to remind me to remain in the moment to whatever degree i am capable and to be grateful for all that i am and all that i have in my life. have a peaceful day!!! steven

Rose Marie Raccioppi said...

"i learned to value the moment.
the details.
to live as if each moment
was meant to be much more
than just another
easily ignored experience.

because each moment is "the big moment".

The seeking soul finds and so we soar - that transformative moment when even death verifies our eternal presence. And so today I celebrate that awakening within you!

My post, August 18, 2009, "This Hour of Sunset," is offered as my "Transformative" hour. Do visit.

In gratitude,

Rose Marie

steven said...

rose marie, thankyou so much for visiting and especially for your stunning contribution. it's a pleasure to read such mindful writing and especially to see such glorious artwork!!! thankyou also for your generous and celebratory comments. they are received with gratitude!!!! steven

Eryl said...

This is such a good story and it explains the why and how of the you that keeps me coming back to read what you say. I totally love:

I learned to value the moment.
the details.
to live as if each moment
was meant to be much more
than just another
easily ignored experience.

I'm running really late today but my post is up now and I am off to read everyone else's.

Thanks for this whole meme Steven.

The Bug said...

I'm sad & glad that I didn't know about the meme - sad that I didn't take the time to participate, & glad that I can enjoy all the stories without the angst of coming up with my own. Thanks for the beautiful journey I'm taking today.

And now I will sit & breathe deeply for a while (I always stop breathing, just a little, when I imagine drowning).

steven said...

hi tessa, thankyou so much for your very generous compliments! i really hope i deserve them. readers who visit this comment need to know that tessa's blog is a stunning visual and literary paradise that you have to visit to fully appreciate. honestly!!! have a peaceful day tessa. steven

steven said...

hi eryl, thanks for your comment and the generous compliment. thanks especially for your contribution to today. i just read it through and it's a whomper of a post. absolutely brilliant flying from nietzsche to the unfair and unkind machinations of your life and then out again into the life you are inside now. brilliant!!!
have a peaceful day even though you are running late!!! steven

steven said...

hello bug, listen my dear, there's only so much you can and should do in a day right?!!! i've just nipped over to your blog and it looks like you've got plenty on your plate. so spend some time wandering from place-to-place (they're all linked in the post right below here) and enjoy the incredible stories of these extraordinary people. thanks so much for visiting and i hope you come back again. steven

Ronda Laveen said...

I came from Reya's blog. Your moment of transformation is told with such clarity. Of being held in and aware of The All, the Oneness. Beautiful.

Titus said...

steven, what an incredible event and, as others have said, your writing held me, as a reader, in the moment with you. And it was like a poem, and I liked the fact that I saw more of you and I particularly liked the fact that you thought of "Deliverance" just prior to the catastrophe. The hole being called Jerusalem was so strange as well. And I am another who is very glad that Ken got to you. I am also amazed that after this trauma you felt you had learned something so significant.
Secondly, congratulations on such an interesting meme-host. It has been fascinating to see what others have posted, and I've still got a lot of visiting to do. Well done, and have a lovely day!

gleaner said...

Steve, I tried to leave a comment yesterday but blogger wouldn't let me. Oh wow, this is very good - thank you for this meme, another exciting and busy time reading all these wonderfully diverse memes.

steven said...

hello ronda and nice to meet you. thanks for your generous comment. there've been several occasions and even periods of my life where my awareness of the all of everything as i call it, has been made crystal clear for me. i think that it's always there - it's just making yourself (or being made) available to it. thanks for dropping by. steven

steven said...

hello gleaner!!! i'm glad you made it!! i have had a few comments drop on blogger myself and i feel badly because i want people to know how much i appreciate their effrots. however, that's the chance we take with something so basically fragile. they are amazing stories that we're reading though aren't they?!!! i'm glad you're on the wander. enjoy!!!! steven

steven said...

hello titus, it really is an incredible event. i have been stunned and amazed at the rnage of stories and the opening up that so many people have chosen to do. i really didn't have any expectations but i certainly wouldn't have expected anything quite so extraordinary!! thanks for your very kind comments. i am really grateful!!!! enjoy your travels through the writers. steven

Emma said...

Hi steven,
Thank you for your kind words about my blog...all my own work yes!
Yours,and titusthedogs post have made me write my own tranformative moment... for which i thank you whole heartedly for.

steven said...

hello emma, well you deserve them!!! i read through your post and you can read my comments on your blog. i am truly impressed by what you managed to do - and grateful that you chose to share your story. these stories that have appeared today may in themselves transform people if for only one moment someone stops and thinks "if she can do it then perhaps so can i". i'm glad to meet you emma!! see you. steven

Friko said...

Hi Steven

The journey is wonderful;
I'm glad I found you, a fellow Hermann Hesse disciple.

Friko said...

Hi Steven,
a wonderful journey, wonderfully told.
I'm glad I found you, a fellow Hermann Hesse disciple!

steven said...

hello friko, i absolutely love hesse's writing. i've read most of what he wrote and my faves would have to be siddhartha, steppenwolf and magister ludi. thanks for visiting and come back for more!!!! steven

Dan Gurney said...

What a rewarding piece of writing this is! I really enjoyed your tale of nearly drowning. I almost drowned in an icy river in Oregon on a canoeing trip, so reading this conjured those memories.

I didn't learn as much from my experience, though as you did. I love the way you put it:

i learned to value the moment.
the details.
to live as if each moment
was meant to be much more
than just another
easily ignored experience.

because each moment is "the big moment".

Thank you, Steven!

steven said...

hello dan! i'm happy to see you here!! i was quite young at the time and to be frank - the learnings i took from that incident have taken years to move from an idea to knowing. but they are a part of me that i am grateful for. i doubt i could have learned them any other way. have a peaceful evening. steven

Golden West said...

Hi Steven, Thank you for hosting the blog friends today. I enjoyed reading everyone's contributions and visiting their blogs, many for the first time. Best regards.

steven said...

thankyou golden west, i loved every minute of it - the hard slogging and the magical amazing writing, photographs, art and people i met!!!! i'm really glad you enjoyed yourself as well. steven

Rachel Fox said...

Hi Steven
Some of the posts have been so brilliant. I joined in the end too!

steven said...

hi rachel - i'm glad that you could drop by. one of the pieces of blogging that i like is that there is never a "too late". so the mem day's over. the results are there for a very long time so you can wander whenever you wish!!! i agree, there were some extraordinary pieces of writing. stories that were absolutely mindblowing, intense, beautiful, sad. i was not prepared for how amazing it would be that's for sure!! just so you know, i've added your post to the list of posts on my page for the transformative moment meme so more people can have a look see. thanks so much and i hope to see you again!!! steven

Bonnie Zieman, M.Ed. said...

Wow Steven - what an experience on every level: adventure, fear, near-death, rescue, "resurrection" . . .

I love how you describe letting go or surrendering to the moment - to what was and in so doing it became a peaceful moment rather than a terrifying one. Shows what is possible for all of us when we approach our last moments.

So many learnings from one moment that transformed you. Thank you for sharing.

steven said...

hi bonnie, thanks for visiting!! a lot of the learning came over time. it was a real wake up call for me to move beyond simply reading about and "knowing" about life to actually beginning to see that there is something very real about life and also something very real about all the worlds that meld together to comprise what we call life. thanks for this wonderful comment!!! steven

Amy said...

I landed here by way of Reya's blog after she mentioned that it was you who began the meme about transformative moments. I picked up the meme and wrote a blog about transformation only to come here and read that you too had included reference to Siddhartha! I was a bit stunned for a moment. We are indeed all connected and more alike than we are different, yes?!

steven said...

hi amy - glad to meet you. i linked up your transformative moment(s) on the list of people around the world who participated. we are all more alike than different and connected through reading siddhartha and so many other things and details - well that's so cool amy!!!! i'm glad you found this place. i'll be popping over for a visit to your place tomorrow. see you then.


Kathleen said...

Hello Steven,

I've seen your comments show up among the blogs i follow. But your meme on transformative moments and your particular story caught my attention in a big way. What an amazing turn out of stories you generated.

I'd like to add my own little contribution. It's a piece I wrote in June, and it resonates with themes in your own story.

Perhaps you'll swing by and have a look?

It's called "That which connects us"

Congratulations on this wonderful gathering of spirits you promoted!

Here's a link to my post:

steven said...

hello kathleen, i'm glad you found this. i've attached a link to your posting here so everyone can enjoy it!!!! thanksyou so much for the nice comments and especially for your visit here. see you again!! steven

Bee said...

This is so VIVID.

Funnily enough, I also remember thinking that about Siddhartha -- and at precisely the same time in my life.