Monday, December 31, 2012

new year's eve

the end of a year.

not quite a wall.

a wall
in one way

with windows.

a little high for me

kind of hard to see through

what's coming?
what might be right on the other side of that wall?

i should tell you
i have just had one of the most challenging
and one of the most amazing years
in my life

and as i just got to share with a neighbour

i wake every day entirely thrilled to be alive
 and grateful for the opportunity


so i am entirely

for myself

and each 
of you

that your lives

or some part of your lives
are blessed
with happy making fortune




Sunday, December 30, 2012

post solstice deliveries

a load of coloured light makes its way
towards montreal on the four oh one

Saturday, December 29, 2012

yummy tail lights!

on the way back from toronto
behind six snowploughs

gotta find beauty wherever i am!

Friday, December 28, 2012

this bench

i love going down to the lake . . .

see . . .

there's something of the essence of my dad there . . .

and i have ridden all the way around this lake - eleven hundred kilometres -

and i know that the good dudes in webster who took care of me and my cycling friends two years ago are getting our prayers

Thursday, December 27, 2012


water and air and stone

an early wintersong:

wear me down

wear me


Tuesday, December 25, 2012

christmas day!

early christmas morning 
the light and the colours are dancing 
in glorious remembering 
and glorious creation . . . . 

Monday, December 24, 2012

the day before

christmas eve day! 

Sunday, December 23, 2012

this or that or . . .

in the kindergarten play area - a painted symbol i call - "this, that or the other thing"

go to the yellow line. stop. 
got to the open space and . . . . . . 

so like the rest of their lives

Saturday, December 22, 2012


we form such 
brief impressions

a moment's glance

an overheard phrase

a rumour

a sense

and from that 
tumbles the lasting sensation
that passes for relationship

each impression
echoing the first

and if the echo is muffled
or incongruent
then it is dovetailed
to correspond
with that which has gone before

and this goes on
and on
until one day
the artifice
becomes too much to bear

and no matter 
how much is contained -
no matter how much is hidden

it all comes tumbling out
and down on the floor
in all its emptiness
in all its nothingness

and you find yourself
right there on the floor
with the sorry
of your own creation

and standing up
becomes the most important
and most singular expression
of yourself
and who you really are

and so
here i am

Friday, December 21, 2012

the weather settles in

and then the weather settled in as unsettled weather seems to choose to do.
freezing rain.

combinations of the the three.

the trees were disinterested
having seen this 
all before . . . 

Thursday, December 20, 2012

never mind the weather

thirty above
or ten below

i'm pretty certain
they don't care

they just do their thing

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

becoming more

their tree fingers
in the direction
of the sky
above the trees
on the far shore

i'm drawn to look

and see the blued
grey scale 
of a fog softened

geese fly overhead
their wings
a muffled ullulation

Tuesday, December 18, 2012


“people should not worry as much about what they do but rather about what they are. if they and their ways are good, then their deeds are radiant. if you are righteous, then what you do will also be righteous. we should not think that holiness is based on what we do but rather on what we are, for it is not our works which sanctify us but we who sanctify our works.”

meister eckhart

Monday, December 17, 2012

santa gives me the thumbs up!

i got to spend some quality time
with santa
and i took the opportunity
 to check in as far as
the whole "naughty or nice" business goes 
because really
and truly . . . 
i do live my life -
and sometimes
i bet
on your inclination
or your sense of good or bad
right or wrong)
i might dance somewhat haphazardly
and unpredictably
on either side of that fence

so i was super jazzed
when the hirsute one
slipped me a bag of candies and assured me
that i was a good dude
and in for more of the same
in terms of good times
and treats and happiness!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

christmas lights

i love christmas lights

i love their colours
their unlikely warmth

i especially love
the story they tell of the people
on the other side of the door
of the house
they are lighting up!

Saturday, December 15, 2012

for the better

looking out at the world
while standing on
my front porch
i am filled
with a sense of yearning
to see this world change sufficiently
for the better
in ways that i have 
hoped for

for as long as i can remember

in my own small part
and for my own small part

i have never let up
and perhaps
that is all i can ask 
of myself

i don't believe
that it's appropriate
to ask the same of others

each of us finds our way
to rightness and goodness
(more often it finds us first)
in our own time
and in our own way

and yet
i cannot prevent my heart
expressing its most fervent hope
that no matter
or what you are

that you accept the privilege of life
by bringing
whatever goodness you can
into this world

and in so doing
this world will change
for the better

Friday, December 14, 2012

on the line

on the line

Thursday, December 13, 2012


from the back window

no movement

a slow wash
of orange
to tangerine
to pale pink

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

ahhh my boy

from late summer

clouds playing

this day
my eighteen year old dawson boy's birthday.

12 - 12 - 12
its own
sweet synchronicity

he tumbled into this world
very much himself

and now
he is entirely
and utterly
so much more
very much more the beautiful
he is intended to be

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

the autumn river

the fish and dragons are still and silent, the autumn river cold,
a peaceful life in my homeland always in my thoughts. 

words by du fu excerpted from autumn meditation 4

Monday, December 10, 2012

this temple

i rose with a sense

my senses
told me stories
one after the other

she was
she wasn't

she had slept in my arms
she had slept outside

there was no telling
there were no words

the measured shuffle
of satin slippers on ricepaper

the sudden flutter
of birds

a whispered scent
of cherry blossom

a solemn 
morning sun
colouring the mist

i was entirely
of myself

and in this moment
i was
entirely contained
in everything else

ito yuhan      kiyomizu temple in spring

Sunday, December 9, 2012

tiny changes

the shuttle
of my thinking
the thread of my being
as entirely present
as the quietude
of a late autumn day

"while i'm alive, i'll make tiny changes to earth."

Saturday, December 8, 2012


on my way to school yesterday morning


Friday, December 7, 2012


in the day they pass overhead and you can feel as much as hear the great beating of their wings and their talking to each other wrestles its way through the windows like some strange song being sung from very far away and yet, they are entirely there right above our heads and my class rushes to the window to say goodbye . . .

Thursday, December 6, 2012

four years

four years ago today my dad flew away.

it was as expected as it was unexpected.

my dad was a man who was drawn to the simple pleasures of this world while also being drawn to enrich his spiritual self through his practice as a buddhist 
and a never ending hunger to learn and to know.

my dad over the course of his life shared much of himself with me, particularly his eccentricities, his love of food and drink, his appreciation of good things and then, eventually of good people, and most especially his love of knowledge.

after a tumultuous first half of our lives, i made my peace with my dad and we arrived at a point of mutual care and respect that was characterized by the best hugs i have ever shared with a man. 

i loved him dearly.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

who we are

i love that each of us is in detail and essence utterly unique. 

the first battle of our lives and sometimes the longest and hardest fought, 
is the battle with the many forces bent on providing us with compelling rationales to deny who we are, 
or who we are intended to be. 

that the strange need for this world to achieve a sort of homogeneity
 precludes the possibility of many to not only retain their uniqueness,
but to achieve the possibilities that that uniqueness might bestow,
is surely the saddest casualty of this battle.

the creation
as i understand it
is a creative unfolding event
of which i am one very small part

my place in the creation
is to honour
the obligation
of my existence

i do so
by waking each and every day
with the intention
of discovering more of my place
and purpose
and celebrating through my work
and wishes and dreams
and most especially my hope

my uniqueness.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

late afternoon

come up for a drink

Monday, December 3, 2012

i'm not the man

i loved this piece of music then and i still feel good sharing it here now . . .

can't beat english r and b bands . . . channeling sam cooke . . . . 

Sunday, December 2, 2012

when the rains fall

a rainy day in december . . .

music today from robert fripp and theo travis . . .

beautiful music created live and very much in the moment . . .

Saturday, December 1, 2012

sky cake

when buildings 
look like cake

expensive cake

i love to see them against the tablecloth 
of a blue sky