when they wrap their arms and eyes and lives around me it's the most exquisite form of containment.
immersion in the wholeness of them.
all my life i've heard that it's easy to let them go when the time comes.
i think my parents were glad to see me go. i have no regrets. no recriminations.
i made it really easy for them!
i think it made it easier for me to return when i became more of who i am today.
we were all ready!
i feel my children so deeply. they are entirely me.
they are entirely themselves.
music today, some summer pop from rahsaan patterson: easier said than done
14 comments:
i feel my children so deeply. they are entirely me ... I know that feeling, wonderfully written.
Sometimes being separated from my children even by skin is too much. But it is only physical, and yes, we contain one another!
Oh, that me, not me, other conundrum! They are, of course, themselves, and it is we who end up containing all they are within ourselves so that any loss is pain.
Beautifully put.
deborah - nothing could have prepared me for it. steven
ruth - it's an exquisite form of suffering. so detailed, so precise. steven
titus - you're entirely right of course. i am able to get distance in terms of perspective on my children and it's for that reason alone that i am able to value them as deeply and wholly as i do. then there's the emotional aspect of being a dad in which i allow myself to hold onto them and feel each change, each departure as painful. steven
If you truly love your children you let them go. That's the purpose of a parent and a child's purpose in life is to leave.
Easier said than done.
Somebody very foolish once said to me: you never stop parenting.
friko i know you're right and i love nothing more than seeing them become who they are. steven
i go with Friko. im not a parent but i believe letting children go and be who they wanted to be is the great accomplishment of the parent.
wonderful father you are...
JJRod'z
I can not even begin to express what it feels like - can not even come close unless it is a kin to some one's death...I,too did a favour for my parents- I was awful by the time I left home- they were quite relieved. My son has been utterly and completely fabulous every day of his life, we are very close in heart and mind- his leaving has jerked me into sorrow. That time with him stacked against the wall in the closet like a cozy winter coat that no longer fits. Time, they say, makes it all more do-able...that's what they say, but I don't think they have ever had children...they don't know what they are talking about. Sort of makes me wish my son had been a brat.
We weren't able to have kids but I'm still a kid/dog magnet...if they're in the room, they will find me. I think as the Neighborhood Babysitter, I raised half the neighborhood! :)
Thanks for sharing what a wonderful feeling that parenting can be!
hope you know that in the real world it takes more than just parents to raise a child. i wish the kids you've helped along their path could write on your blog and tell their stories!!! steven
linda sue you're awesome! steven
jj - you're so right man! steven
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