Tuesday, July 19, 2011

that's how it's meant to be

it's fascinating to me that i can pass through my days and be transformed in the blink of an eye.
that a few words can soften a stance that i hadn't really considered i held so dearly, so tightly as to almost be protective of it. as if it would somehow shield me from that which is not simply right before my face but is my face and all else that i am.
i read your words and find myself adrift.
reconsidering.
rebuilding.

so it was when i read these words.
i have held for the longest time the idea that the flaw in my presence is my very human nature.
my being human.
that the true value of my presence here is everything else beyond that state.

so, i was so excited when i read these words because suddenly the face of my presence and its necessity became crystal clear to me and not something to be ashamed of.

. . .


inside the huge romanesque church the tourists jostled in the half darkness.
vault gaped behind vault, no complete view.
a few candle flames flickered.
an angel with no face embraced me
and whispered through my whole body:
“don’t be ashamed of being human, be proud!
inside you vault opens behind vault endlessly.
you will never be complete, that’s how it’s meant to be.”

italicized words excerpted from "romanesque arches" by tomas tranströmer

16 comments:

Jinksy said...

The music is a haunting to my ears as your words always are too my mind. Rather than vaults leading in, I've always imagined we're like onions being peeled layer by layer back to a centre point. Your idea is less smelly!!! hehehe!

Ruth said...

I appreciate your ever-open heart, Steven.

Thanks for this excellent word (and reedy breath) this morning. I will remember today not to feel shame.

Reya Mellicker said...

This is quite a summer of revelatiOn isn't it? Not for the meek or timid. Love to you Steven.

aguja said...

That we are human is what is so special and precious about us; that we are neither infallible, nor all powerful, but have a fragile strength and the ability to weave thoughts and words.
The music is brilliant.
A very special post from 'Steven the Human'!

The Weaver of Grass said...

Of course as humans we are not perfect although some think we are. I like to think that we are part of the whole, no worse, no better - wise words of yours as always Steven.

steven said...

jinksy - i prefer the less smelly model although i like onions in my cooking!! steven

steven said...

ruth - it's the strangest little revelation that opened my heart to the human condition ever so kindly - almost fifty-four years and still open to knowing what i know in a different way. steven

steven said...

reya - not for the meek or close-minded that's for sure. the shaking up of something as air-tight as a cosmology is not to be taken lightly. but it is to be sung to and about! steven

Lizzy Frizzfrock said...

What words of wisdom these. "don't be ashamed of being human, be proud... you will never be complete, that's how it's meant to be." Perhaps if we could all take these words to heart many differences would melt away. Wow! Thank you for sharing this.

steven said...

aguja thankyou for your insight and perspective. the music has special associations for me and i am glad you too enjoyed it. steven

steven said...

weaver you have a lovely perspective - i always crave "the level playing field" in all things and to realize that humans are no better and no worse is a good palce for me. steven

steven said...

lizzy - that's so true and i wonder also if we took those words to heart of our expectations of each other might also melt away. steven

hope said...

So if we're never really complete, than we can always hope to become better. I like that! :)

steven said...

hope! it's like a little window or a door opened up or someone said "it's alright". i've held this idea of perfection so close to myself fo so long and i think i know why but i'm also asking "why?". steven

Valerianna said...

I've come to this realization - or at least one of the same kind - and it is such a deep relief, isn't it? There is something to surrender every day and remind myself that it is the way it is, which is my revelation, and that it is nothing else. Not good, not bad, just the way it is. It helps me be more human, I think, not striving to be somehow transcendent - except when I am! But for me it is a practice to keep reminding myself of this....

steven said...

valerianna - it's as if the lid got lifted off! steven