Monday, January 25, 2010

the sweetest gifts

yesterday's posting
came from a memory
of experiencing
the wistfulness that comes out of
a sense that things could
be better or different or better suited to my needs.

i felt that feeling a lot in my first three decades.

over time
i've accumulated so many
memories
some very small
and some very overwhelming in their scale.
they all
find a place in my
self.

i love
to fall back on them
when my daily experiencing
is more than i can bear
or when i feel
that
perhaps
i can learn something
from a moment
long passed.

but the most special
and magical
remembering
are those unbidden moments
that appear
without rhyme or reason
and fill my mind
with
their long past presence.


the loveliness of forms and thoughts and colours,
a moment marked and then as soon forgotten.
these things are ever near us, laid away,
hidden and waiting the appropriate times,
in the quiet garner-house of memory.


such gifts are sweetest when unsought.

all italicized words archibald lampman

23 comments:

Jenny Stevning said...

"...long past presence."
Wow!
So perfect to hear.
Genius.

jinksy said...

I may have said this to you before? I once wrote the following:-

That which is sought is often elusive.
That which comes unbidden, is reality before it is recognised.

Seems we think alike...

sinnlighet said...

I want to leave a footprint behind me and tell you that I think you have a poetic and sensual blog.

It flows sensuality and humanity between the lines.

Good morning from Sweden & Agneta

steven said...

jenny - there are so many layers to our experiences and sometimes they intersect with the present and that's when those strange and unbidden memories come floating right into the present moment. i'm glad that you liked this. have a peaceful creative day. steven

steven said...

jinksy that's exquisite!!! thankyou. steven

steven said...

hello sinnlighet, "sensuality" is a word that doesn't appear very often here at the golden fish as a descriptor so thankyou very much. i am really happy that you enjoyed your visit and thankyou so much for leaving the footprint! steven

Titus said...

Loved these words:

these things are ever near us, laid away,
hidden and waiting the appropriate times,
in the quiet garner-house of memory.

and how they resonated with me. Thanks steven.

Reya Mellicker said...

What beautiful words! It is one great advantage of getting older - having all those experiences to draw upon.

I see a gold bird in both images, a huge and beautiful gold bird.

Love to you this morning, Steven.

willow said...

Ah, such gifts are sweetest when unsought.

Dan Gurney said...

"such gifts are sweetest when unsought."

I think one of the effects of meditation is that it can empty the mind and make it ready to receive the ever-present peace and love surrounding us always.

hope said...

So true!

Why this very morning, awaking to a horrible head cold, the first thing I did was head for the kitchen, get fresh squeezed orange juice and cinnamon toast.

For it's medicinal qualities? No. Because when I was a kid, it made me feel better. :)

Have a great week.

The Weaver of Grass said...

You have a real talent for matching words and pictures Steven.

Kay said...

Pure beauty Steven....life just now is all work and not much else so my daily trip over to you gives me a moment to just ...breathe....and know that those moments you talk about will visit me again soon. xx

steven said...

hey reya - thanks for your kind comment. i see the golden bird in the sky. i missed it until you showed me. so thankyou very much!!!! steven

steven said...

hope - the kids and i have been chugging back the connamon toast and juice for two weeks now!!! the cinnamon toast was a request from one of them and i thought - "hey, i'm joinin' this bandwagon!" it's so good!!! have a peaceful dau and i wish you' get better soon. steven

steven said...

hello weaver, thankyou so much. i really really enjoy it and perhaps that helps!!! steven

steven said...

kay i've been through periods of life like that and i can offer you hope. it's all there waiting for you to be available to it. you will be. sooner than later. it's evident in your words. have a peaceful evening. steven

Lizzy Frizzfrock said...

Beautiful. Just the other day I was thinking about how long hidden memories just pop into the here & now. Some are delightful memories; others not so much, but they all are a part of our makeup... we can define ourselves by our experiences. Some are lamentable and others a little piece of heaven.

I left a little "happy 101 award" for you on my blog.

steven said...

hi lizzy - mmm hmmm, it's strange but i can be walking along and all of a sudden the smell of a sweet shop from my life as a little boy in england can flood my mind and i'm transported inside that shop. this despite the fact that it's twenty below and i'm walking my long walk home from walk. thanks for the thoughtful award lizzy. steven

Delwyn said...

Hi Steven

Don't you just love that memory burst that smells evoke...it it almost as if you were there..I think you are...for a mini second...

Sounds and colours can have the same effect too...and of course touch... (Important in PTSD treatment)
but somehow smell seems to be most powerful for me...

Which senses activate memories for you...

Happy days

steven said...

hi delwyn,

smells are powerful triggers for me. i have vivid memories of the perfumes people have worn, the smell of houses they have lived in, the smell of shops from long ago. i dearly love the smell of babies, especially their heads when they are wrapped up in blankets and that warm fresh baked bread and talcum powder scent rises from them. pure ambrosia!!!! have a lovely day delwyn, mine is just drawing to a close! steven

FireLight said...

Steven, I know these moments, but I could have never described one as well as you have. In fact, I attempted to for New Year's Eve, and made a point...but this...this is perfection. What an inspiration this was to ready over my morning tea.

Crafty Green Poet said...

very true and beautifully expressed...