siddhartha

work - real work - has no beginning. i can trace my own thinking back as far as a set of still unfolding scattered moments in time . . . . apparently disparate but in some way connected. points at which my way of knowing the world and then of knowing myself changed inexorably.
In the Heaven of Indra, there is said to be a network of pearls so arranged, that if you look at one, you see all the others reflected in it. In the same way each object in the world is not merely itself but in fact involves every other object and in fact is a mirror of everything else.
for instance.
my lovely aunt margaret - my only aunt - gifted me a copy of herman hesse's book siddhartha a very long time ago. at the same time she also gifted me a copy of hesse's book "steppenwolf". i was fifteen years old.
(my american readers can download a copy of "siddhartha" for free at: http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/2500)
readers in other parts of the world can also download the same document, but out of respect for copyright may wish to check to see if they have contravened something or other . . . . . . . .
here's a plot synopsis courtesy in part of the ubiquitous wikipedia:
this beautiful story details the awakening of a young handsome and popular son of a brahmin, who, becoming weary of the formal and strict ways of Hindu prayer and sacrifice, leaves home together with govinda, his admiring friend. they join a group of samanas, wandering monks who live in the woods and try to conquer the Self by disciplining the mind and mortifying the body. after three years of this life, the young men hear about the Buddha and leave the ascetic lifestyle to listen to his teachings. govinda joins the Buddhist monks, but siddhartha is convinced that only personal experience and not external teachings can lead to true knowledge and enlightenment. at this point, siddhartha decides to "find himself" and re-enters the world.
soon siddhartha comes upon the house of a rich and beautiful courtesan, kamala, who takes a liking to the young man. she tells him that in order for her to teach him the art of love, he must find a job and return with gifts. siddhartha becomes assistant to a merchant, kamaswami, and quickly becomes a very successful businessman. he initially remains detached and rather amused about how seriously the "child people" take everyday matters, but gradually he immerses himself in a life of gambling and greed. eventually, unhappy and tired of playing life like an empty game of distractions, he departs the town forever.
depressed and confused, siddhartha comes upon a river and prepares to drown himself. Then he hears in the river's murmurring a sound, "Om," which is the dharmic symbol for the oneness of everything in the universe. those who truly understand the sound's meaning are enlightened. all suicidal thoughts vanish.
after a spiritually as well as physically refreshing sleep, siddhartha meets for the second time the enlightened ferryman, vasudeva, and decides to stay with him. the two work together as ferrymen and live for years in peace and content. together, they listen to the many voices of the river, united in the sacred sound: "Om."
meanwhile, kamala, unbeknownst to siddhartha, has given birth to his son. when she and her son go on a pilgrimage to see the dying Buddha, kamala is bitten by a snake near the river. vasudeva finds her and brings her to the hut he shares with siddhartha. before she dies, she tells Siddhartha that the boy is his son. siddhartha takes care of the spoiled child and tries to instill appreciation of the simple life into him. he fails, and the son runs away, back to the town. siddhartha, worried, searches for him. vasudeva cautions that a father has to let go, has to let his son experience his own suffering--just like siddhartha's father once had to let go. this illustrates one of the important themes of the book: knowledge can be taught, but wisdom comes from experience.
now siddhartha is truly enlightened. recognizing this, vasudeva goes off into the woods to die in peace. siddhartha's friend of his youth, govinda, comes by the river, still a Buddhist monk and still searching for enlightenment. when he asks about the teachings that have brought siddhartha peace, siddhartha replies that too much searching can preclude finding, that time is an illusion, that all things are one, and that love for all things is the most important thing in the world.
then siddhartha asks his still skeptical friend to kiss him on the forehead. after complying, govinda no longer sees his friend siddhartha, but rather a sea of people, animals, plants, and other objects of the world. thus, govinda discovers the oneness of the universe, just as gotama, vasudeva, and siddhartha had before him. govinda realizes the perfect truth of siddhartha's wisdom, and, weeping with wonder, bows down before him.
here's an excerpt from early in the story. siddhartha has arrived at the first realization - that he has to overcome and leave this world:

"A goal stood before Siddhartha, a single goal: to become empty, empty of thirst, empty of wishing, empty of dreams, empty of joy and sorrow. Dead to himself, not to be a self any more, to find tranquility with an emptied head, to be open to miracles in unselfish thoughts, that was his goal. Once all of my self was overcome and had died, once every desire and every urge was silent in the heart, then the ultimate part of me had to awake, the innermost of my being, which is no longer my
self, the great secret."

i read this while a teenager in a little bedroom in a semi detached house deep in the heart of suburban toronto. i can tell you that in the course of reading siddhartha i was rocketed out of my knowing of myself and was brought to a place that was much closer to what i thought was right. the repressive elements of my church upbringing that never quite resonated within me were replaced by a sense that there were features of other people's understanding that paralleled my intuitions. that perhaps i wasn't wrong in assuming that a kinder more meaningful knowing of why i am here and what we can do while were here and perhaps even why we do what we do existed.
hesse has a reputation among clever people. he won a nobel prize for his book "magister ludi" an absolutely brilliant book but one which demands and assumes a certain approach to literature . . . . both the writing and the reading.
siddhartha is simply a beautiful story - allegorical - unravelling. transformative. one of my waystations on the journey of this life.