i want to be with those who are wise

krishna with the lion. manjit bawa

a feature of my life that is somewhat tucked away but probably evident is my wish to understand.

my self, my place and my purpose in this world.

this world . . .

and then those worlds i am aware of but cannot describe.

finding the tools to open up the knowledge,

finding the tools to shut down the background noise.

knowing which tools,

which route,

which path allows for the process to emerge and continue.

well.

it's like playing music to help a lion find peace.

john bennett wrote: "we must wish to learn, and not to expect to know without having learned.

we may imagine that there is nothing we want more than to know the truth about ourselves and the world, but we show again and agin by our behaviours that we simply close our mind to knowledge that does not suit us.

some part of learning must come from ourselves. we must be willing to be sincere in our observation of our inner state and hidden impulses as well as our outside behaviour."

the poet rainer rilke

saw this as surely as any

when he himself

had such a moment of insight -

of such clarity -

that you can feel the force of his inner voice through these words . . .

i am too alone in the world, and yet not alone enough

to make every hour holy.

i am too small in the world, and yet not tiny enough

just to stand before you like a thing,

dark and shrewd.

i want my will, and i want to be with my will

as it moves towards deed;

and in those quiet, somehow hesitating times,

when something is approaching,

i want to be with those who are wise

or else alone.

i want always to be a mirror that reflects your whole being,

and never to be too blind or too old

to hold your heavy, swaying image.

i want to unfold.

nowhere do i want to remain folded,

because where i am bent and folded, there i am lie.

and i want my meaning

true for you. i want to describe myself

like a painting that i studied

closely for a long, long time,

like a word i finally understood,

like the pitcher of water i use every day ,

like the face of my mother,

like a ship

that carried me

through the deadliest storm of all.

rainer maria rilke

it brings to mind some of robert fripp's recent writing from his diary . . . "one way we recognize the presence of consciousness is that we see connections – immediately. before, we knew all the parts. then, we see the whole, the relationship between the parts, and the relationship of the parts to the whole. there is a directness and immediacy in seeing the connections. in a sense, consciousness is the energy of understanding. awareness is local; understanding is global."

rumi said:

o God, help me against this self of mine

that is seeking help from you;

i seek justice from no one but from

this justice-seeking self.

i shall not get justice from any one except from

him who is nearer to me than myself;

for this i-ness comes moment by moment from him."