seeking means:

words from a book that first found me through my cool aunt margaret who brought hesse's writing and so much more into my world, back when i was a teenager looking inwards and outwards and seeing much more consonance than i was to know until very very recently . . . . .
“when someone seeks," said siddhartha, "then it easily happens that his eyes see only the thing that he seeks, and he is able to find nothing, to take in nothing because he always thinks only about the thing he is seeking, because he has one goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. seeking means: having a goal. but finding means: being free, being open, having no goal.”
hermann hesse, siddhartha