from where i began

when i saw her

she was

she was

so like

so like a flower

and then

so

entirely

so entirely

herself

and i

so like

the small green

moth-like form

of her perfect imagining

i saw myself

fluttering in her eyes

and i liked seeing the me of me

so much

that i became

perfect in my own estimation

so subtle

and refined

in my becoming

and in time

i became

so much less grateful for the gaudy syntax

of her velvet lips and her golden heart

so filled with greed

and i became so set

and then so set back

so formed in my place

until one morning

waking alone

in the sky

a sky of my own imagining

and remembering

each detail

of my unlived life

so filled with hollowness and great spaces

that (unlike a wish)

were already filled with the memories of dreams that would follow

moments that would never happen

so, filled with memories and dreams that had no home

i built my own sacred space

a sanctuary

a place of solace

a hermit's retreat

framed and clothed

in the architecture of regret

fantasy became both my scapegoat

and my friend

under the sun's soft breath

the dead leaves of me

fluttered

to the ground

no matter that time

which had somehow ceased to exist

passed and returned

bringing me to begin

from where i began

wholly and entirely

to be here

again

visual prompt provided by tess kincaid